The Energy of Change is in the Air

On Wednesday I went to the Hillel Center at the University of Miami for a Rosh Hashanah service. Being agnostic yet baptized, this was my first Rosh Hashanah service. Though I am not a fan of organized religion in any form I went because my fiancé said it would be really good for him and his father to have a woman around as this would be the first service they attended since his mom died. Who can say no to that? So I sat in a room, surrounded by Jews. The horrible “I love my daddy’s money” bumper sticker wearing UM jappy kind. Hopefully they will grow up and become slightly less materialistic but I have never seen so many Burberry Shoes and Louis Vitton purses so closely gathered together at any other point in my life. Things have changed since the early 90’s but when I was at UM I made it a point to avoid the sororities and I bet everyone in that room was in one or something like one. I say things have changed b/c when I went to UM, appropriate attire consisted of boxer shorts, Birks, a t-shirt, and a flannel (for using as a pillow or blanket while napping between classes b/c you know, the dorm room is just too far away).
Ok – I have become more than a little racist here. Sorry about that. I have NOTHING against Jewish people. I am marrying a Jewish person – although he really downplayed that in the early dating stages. I figure I can suck it up and go to religious services twice a year. I just feel like such a hypocrite sitting there. Asking god for forgiveness and to overlook my sins. I really don’t think we have a kind of god that listens to these kinds of things. And if you’re Jewish it doesn’t really matter b/c there is no Hell. That alone makes this religion a thousand times better than Christianity. But I was baptized so I aint going to Hell. Hah!
As ususal, I digress. The rabbi and the service were really good. There was some Hebrew singing and reading, but a lot of reading in English also. That wasn’t the good part. This rabbi explained things to us. We were there for the New Year, but it was more than just the New Year. That day was supposedly the same day, based on the Jewish calendar, that Adam and Eve were created. Because of this, the air on this day is rich with energy and the forces of creation. This is the day to sort of re-invent your self. You can do it any day, but today the energy of the world is with you. But it is not the day for typical New Year’s resolutions. You aren’t supposed to pledge to lose 20 lbs or something like that. It’s supposed to be more spiritual. Sadly, my memory fails me beyond this. Sorry.
We also got a little lesson on the punishments that were doled out in the Garden of Eden after that tasty apple was bitten into. Adam and Eve lost their eternal life. They became mere mortals who consequently felt pain, needed food, and well, could die. That evil tempting snake was also punished. He used to be the most glorious animal in the Garden, walking around on four legs like the king of the jungle. God punished him by taking away his legs, making him the lowest animal as he could only slither around on his belly. He also gave him a far worse punishment. God decreed that the snake could eat dirt. It doesn’t sound so bad at first. If you can eat what you are constantly surrounded by, then it would seem like you are basically set. If all your needs appear to be met, it would seem wonderful. You don’t have to ask anybody for anything. Ever. But because of this total self sufficientness (says not a word, but I think it should be) the snake was really punished because he no longer needed a connection to god. The snake, and all other snakes, never got to talk to god again and god never talked to the snakes again either. Poor snake lost his most important relationship because all his needs were met.
And then there is this Jesus fellow. In the period he was born, everyone was the child of God. One day though, Jesus woke up and decided that everyone was wrong and only, he, Jesus, was the son of God. Guess he had a harder time than most picturing his mother having sex. Or maybe his mother lied to him all his life. I am not too knowledgeable here, but I figure she was a single mom right? Why else would there be all this virgin conception talk? If she was married, then the husband would be the baby daddy. Ahh… no husband. Back then it must have been very terrible to be not married and pregnant. Maybe that’s why no one would let her inside. She must have had a great big red S all over her. Well baby Jesus grows up and asks, who’s my daddy? And Mary says, as everyone else always said about everybody, God is your father. I think he might have taken this a bit too literally. Ah, God is my dad, not yours! I can see your dad – he is right over there. My mommy isn’t married so the only daddy I could possibly have is God and yeah- there’s your dad right over there, next to your mom. He don’t look like God to me. So screw you all. I can see your fathers, but you can't see mine, so he must be God. Though I think he might have been a little loony, he did have a pretty good message spreading around. Don’t know much of it, but do know – “Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you” and I love that one. All the others are good, but this is the one that I really try to live up to.


"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."