Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Fools and Fanatics vs. The Wise

Philosopher, mathematician and writer, Bertrand Russell, once said, 
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are 
always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."

Ain't that the fucking truth.  I guess the wise like to be sure they are right and will exhaust all other possibilities until they are certain.  This takes time.   Wise statement huh?  Well... I admit, not really.

Does this make you smarter if you don't believe in god?  Or the bible?  I believe in the bible.  Its an interesting work of fiction, one of the first (if not the first) about a man who had a message people liked.   Perhaps I think this because I finished that really popular book called.....well, frankly I don't remember.  All that comes to mind is "The Celestine Prophecy" but I know that's not the one.  Or maybe I thought this all along.  Yeah, for as long as I can remember, I have thought the bible an old work of fiction elevated to a false status by fanatics or people who need something, anything to believe in.  I don't understand that.  It is what it is (line from aforementioned book whose name I can't remember).

Still sad, but felt I had to post something.  I read the above quote and LOVED IT.

Hell, maybe I am such a funk b/c I don't have anything except the earth and universe to believe in.  There is no one guiding my life.  My destiny is in MY hands and I don't have the slightest idea what to do with it at the moment.  If only I thought a god could lead me to the right decisions - life would be sooo much easier.

"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Bush is a homophobe. And an IDIOT.

Instead of writing, I just copied and pasted this letter.  Please do what you can to stop this bullshit.  Find your representative and let them know that discrimination of any kind is WRONG!!!!

Dear MoveOn Member,
You'd think President Bush and the right-wing leadership in Congress
would feel chastened after the resounding defeat last week of their
Constitutional amendment denying marriage equality to same-sex couples.
But you'd be wrong. They're now pushing a bill that would prevent
same-sex couples from going to federal court to challenge laws that
discriminate against them. The House is about to vote on this bill.
Your Representative, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, is a key swing vote.
Please call now:
Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen
Office Phone: 202-225-3931
Be sure the staff members know you're a constituent, then urge your
Representative to:
"Vote NO on the Marriage Protection Act - H.R. 3313."

Please let us know you're calling, at:
H.R. 3313 would prevent federal courts from ruling on challenges to the
Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a bill passed in 1996 which allows
states to deny recognition to same-sex couples legally married in other
For the first time in U.S. history, the Bill of Rights would be defined by state borders. "Equal Protection Under the Law" might mean one
thing in Pennsylvania, and another in California.
Checks and balances are a fundamental part of our Constitution --
federal courts protect individual rights from overreaching by Congress
or the president.
Now, President Bush and some in Congress want to set this principle
aside to score political points in an election year. Don't let them --
call your Representative today.
Thanks for all you're doing.
--Lee Bodner and Peter Schurman
Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
This is a message from MoveOn.org. To unsubscribe from this list,
please visit our subscription management page at: http://moveon.org/s?i=3118-3043870-LNTCq6EoVijzGDDlYBtS1A"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."

Monday, July 19, 2004

Really Sad, Really Long Spiral of Self Pity

-just a warning......
          God I'm having a bad day. 
          One of those where my skin is too thin. 
          EVERYTHING is bothering me today. 
I really hate saying this b/c I feel that it pushes the women's movement back like who knows how many years, but I think the culprit is PMS. 
          My boss, AKA, my mom, is really getting on my nerves today and all I can keep thinking, over and over and over again is "shut up bitch - I don't even want to work here - I gave you my 2 weeks notice over a year ago - but look - here I am - just a stupid dumbfuck idiot who would rather die a painless death than come back tomorrow.
  A while after I left home, I realized that my parents didn't try to fuck my life up and preclude me from having a social life.  They really did want me to be happy, thing is, they aren't perfect.  No one is perfect.  So though parents did and still do the best they can, they are bound to make mistakes.  Especially if one of the parents has a horrible temper that I seem to have inherited.   So now we have mother and daughter yelling (quite loud) at each other while daughter feels that it is perfectly w/in her rights to just walk out the damn door and never come back.  Then the guilt sets in.  When ever someone quits w/o notice it fucks everyone's life at work.  But then I remember- I gave notice over a year ago, trusting that they believed me.  They almost let me go after I explained not so calmly that I would rather be dead than keep doing this bullshit day after day after day.  I finally told them of my fantasy of renting a car and driving it off a bridge.  This really upset them.  That wasn't my intention - who knows what my intention was.  I like to think that it wasn't one of those sad cries for attention you hear about.  I have appented it twice and didnt talk about it untill years later (at least 5 - my parents still dont know - but if they had the econo size bottle of tylenol instead of aspirin, I would not be writing today). -ALL PARENTS OF TEENAGERS -  KEEP NO TYLENOL IN THE HOUSE - IT TAKES DAYS TO KILL YOU AND A SIMPLE STOMACH PUMP WONT HELP A BIT AFTER A FEW HOURS - ASPIRIN JUST GIVES YOU A REALLY BAD STOMACHACHE-  My dad said I could leave the next week, but I know that there is tons of work to do, and no one but family will work the hours to make it happen (though I do read a lot of blogs and play backgammon and chess throughout the day).   It's not like I REALLY want to die, it's more like I REALLY don't want to keep coming here day after day after day w/ false promises that it will end, which I no longer believe.  Death seems like a good option b/c no one can yell at me for bailing out.  Guess that's why it's the coward's way out.
Sidenote:  I told my psychiatrist about my driving off bridge plan in a joking way.  He has nothing but Mercedes magazines in his office and I saw all the safety features they have - it seems like 90% of the interior of my car is air-bag protected.  So I told him that even if I did try suicide it probably wouldn't work b/c my car is too damn safe.  He said I should watch what I tell him, or he could commit me.  Man, he really knows how to foster good interpersonal relationships doesn't he? Can you feel the trust I have for this damn turd of a man?  Yeah, didn't think so.
          I don't know what death is like, but it seems like it would be quiet and warm - maybe like a cosmic womb - no stress - extremely inviting at the moment.
          A nice alternative to death would be a temporarily (1-2 months) accident that doesn't cause any facial scarring (yes - very superficial I know).  This is the only other guilt free way to leave work but I haven't the slightest idea how to make it happen.  I don't want to lose any appendages and you can't guarantee this in a car accident.  I would also NEVER want to hurt another individual - something else you can't control in a car accident.  And finally - what always stops me - the pain left behind that I would be the direct cause of.  I think that no one would care but then I think that if one of my cousins did it (and I am not that close w/ any of them) it would hurt me tremendously.  I might be more sensitive than others, but I am pretty sure it would affect them negatively also.  As I just found out, if some one I don't even know takes the easy way out, it really fucking affects me.... 
I just left for half an hour and I feel better already.  Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I should have it tattooed on my forearm. 
I know this isn't fun reading.  This is for me.  MY THERAPY.  It seems to be working.  Kinda.
"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."

Friday, July 16, 2004

$10 tickets my Ass

  This sucked!  I tried to get on this morning from home but the box there wasn't working (I really think it hates me).  By the time I remembered at work Norah Jones tix were gone.  She was the one I really wanted to see, then Sting - who was also sold out.  So I got tix for Rush and KISS!!w/ Poison...Reminder:  Buy LOTS of hairspray!Its like my high school reunion all over again!
I like how 2 of these "$10" tix end up costing $39.10.  I guess I need to get over my memories of seeing stadium bands for about $25 a ticket for ALL seats.  Now even the bad ones are 35 sometimes.
"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."

Thursday, July 15, 2004

I'm on a roll today

Yeah Baby...

Fastest way to clean a REALLY messy desk?

Spill a pint of water all over it.

Poor calculator. Just when I was about to go home.

My desk is so messy I have developed a pretty bad ant problem this week.

At first I just saw one.
The next day I saw a few more.
Yesterday I found their trail (but not where it started).
Today they started crawling on me.
A lot.
This is what let me to investigate why the hell they decided to choose my desk as their new home. Hmm... might have something to do w/ the fact that I wont let the exterminator in my office. Anyway - I was looking for food (I saw 2 of them crawling up the wall w/ something that looked like food earlier) and moved my coffe mug - check - ant free, then I moved my water - nothing swimming in there. Then I started digging through the layers - you have no idea - I found 2002 shit in here (straight to the garbage can - if it hasnt been missed yet, it wont be now). While sifting, glass topples causing me to move much faster than i have in a while. I should have moved faster....

As I type on the only funtioning electrical thing on my desk at this moment, the ants dance around me, on papers, on me!, on the wall, on the moniter. I swear they mock me. I am starting to kinda hate them.

Why are they here??

I still havent found any food and they dont like my coffee or water.

I did find something good though - a free cruise to the Bahamas w/ 3 night hotel stay! I thought I lost that thing years ago.

I end on a happy note, wondering what interesting, most likely decrepit... um historic, hotel I will stay at. I say, the older the better - most everything in Miami is NEW.

cont.. 8/17/04
I dont know how or why, but the ants went away after I spilled that glass of water. Calculator never came back to life though, and I still havent figured out how to make new one act like old one. Woe is me. Or idiot is me.

"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."

Month of Concerts!

I havent been to a concert in sooo long - I am going to all of these!! Such variety - and buying w/o checking to see what day of the week it is - very unlike me. I like to go home early on work nights but sometimes ya just gotta say - FUCK IT!

THIS FRIDAY, JULY 16 – 9:00am 'til 9:00pm
@ Sound Advice Amphitheatre
07.24 The Cure

07.28 Chicago/Earth, Wind & Fire

07.29 Rush

07.30 Kiss & Poison

08.17 Linkin Park, Korn, Snoop Dogg & more!

08.21 Crosby, Stills & Nash

09.04 Ozzfest 2004 featuring Black Sabbath

09.08 Sting & Annie Lennox

11.14 Norah Jones

...Click Here for More Details...

Ode to the Everglades


The idea for a haiku was inspired by Jett Superior

Well, I wrote it yesterday (tuesday - posting problems!!). The fires (or at least the smoke) seem to have calmed down since yesterday. I think this really shows how our climates are changing. Miami usually get inundated with rain during the summer months. There used to be no such thing as a dry summer in Miami. The 'Glades used to burn in winter - NOT SUMMER. Well you get the point - this is strange, wrong, and eerie.

"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

48 to 50

48 to 50. Too damn close. 48 of our senators are bigots. Kerry and Edwards didn’t even have the balls to vote but I will still vote for them. I am part of the ABB crowd “Anybody But Bush.” At least Nelson and Graham voted nay; all my e-mails and phone calls were not a total waste of time. It hate it when we win, but by a ridiculously small margin. It really makes me sad that people can be so intolerant. Fucking live and let live. When I saw the email that the vote was rejected I was jubilant until I clicked on the voting statistics. My heart dropped when I saw how close it was. I am sure Kerry and Edwards didn’t vote b/c they already knew how their peers would vote, but still – fucking get a backbone you lame ass cowards – oh, they are politicians – they have to be lame ass cowards or risk being unpopular- kinda like you never left high school. Oh - in case you are wondering, this is about the federal marriage amendment.

"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."

Thursday, July 01, 2004


It's not a good idea to call your "customer" a "costumer." That was going to be it, but I love hearing myself type so here's more.
I guess it really isn't so bad in my industry, because all my customers manufacture clothing, so in a way they are "costumers."

This mental blurb brought to you by: Deep Thoughts By Misha Smiley

On another note: On my last post I had edited it to talk about something someone had done that affected/bothered/hurt me. I was very hesitant to do so b/c I thought that they might stumble upon it and I don't want to give them the satisfaction of reading about themselves. After some mental deliberation, I decided I just wanted to put it out there to get it off my chest....

I edited the post, published it, but it wasn't there. I guess some things just aren't meant to be. UGH - that really sounded religious more than Zen, must be leftovers of the road rage that took hold of me this morning. I feel out of control w/ all the assholes making my purse spill on the floor 3 times today b/c I had to slam on my brakes to avoid said assholes. I actually cut some one off out of revenge - I think that might have been the first time I took revenge on the road, and mind you, I live in Miami, where I try to keep in mind that most drivers have guns so it really is best to live and let die on the roads down here. Sorry if this is too much train of thought to follow coherently. I have that problem A LOT. People need to wise up!
My theory on religion is that people turn to it when there is nothing else left. It is a way to absolve yourself of "sin". It was in God's hands, It was God's will. Who the fuck is God, and if God did exist and created us, don't ya think he'd let us know about him, and not let HIS planet go to hell b/c of religious intolerance.

Yeah - I need to get to work and go yell at some people until that Xanex kicks in.

"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."