Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Watch This

Jon Stewart on Crossfire

I wanted to see this after hearing about it for days and a lovely friend of mine sent me the link. It's pretty good and lord do I love Jon.

ps - for those who care - I filed my nails down while watching the video and I like them now - YAY!!!


Just to remind myself. I don't like them but at least I can still type up a storm w/ them. I am going to attack them w/ a ginormous nail file and see if I can whittle them down tonight. I hope I can do something to make them look real because I really hate that they look so FAKE. Yeah - like you care :-)

I love my camera

When I went camping this past weekend I took over 300 pictures. Drugs and cameras mix very well. Sand and camera, not so well. But I was careful, though stupid for bringing the damn thing, and didn't get any sand in any bad places! I now NEED a waterproof digital camera for under $300. Any recommendations?

Slow that I am, I just discovered, well not really discovered, but applied it to myself um.. OPHOTO... So out of the 300 pics I will find my 10 favorite and post them tonight after a happy hour that better be damn good and the West Wing which also better be damn good. I heard that they are going to get a republican president in there. I like Jeb so much. I want the writers to be our president. Really - anybody but Bush.

I need an underwater camera w/ a good macro lens too because I LOVE MACRO PICS. I even used to take macro pics w/ disposable cameras and wonder why everything was so out of focus.

I am taking some pre wedding pics next week and am getting my nails done today w/ acrylics. I am kind of nervous about this. They could totally fuck up my nails which aren't too great at the moment. I haven't had fake claws since I was in high school and I used to do a lot of acid at the time and they always weirded me out while tripping. Hopefully these will be nice and I will still be able to type with them.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Shit...(warning - not happy today)

I ordered about 4 semi's worth of product that they are sending ALL TOGETHER in a CONVOY tomorrow and our warehouse can only fit about 2 semi's worth of shit.

That would be one giant OOPS from me. I really aught to get a better grasp of the Spanish language because the order still says the same to me. I understood that I was to order the chain, not wait for instructions for a later date in which to place the order. If I am not supposed to place and order WHY THE HELL DID THEY SEND IT????

At first I thought it was funny in a ha-ha cute sort of way but about an hour later I feel really bad about this. Like stupidly bad. Like I am holding back the tears. I hate working here. I don't want to. I want to go out in the world again and make a living for myself independent of my parents. I feel like my paycheck is an allowance though I know I work damn hard for it. Really Fucking Hard. Why is it that heart and mind have so much trouble melding at times? There are so many times that I KNOW something but....yeah forgot where I was going w/ this. I think it had something to do w/ boys or something but I can't find a really good concrete example to illustrate what I am feeling. Tangled. Conflicted. Guilty. Shamed. Sad. Embarrassed (big time).

Yep. Fear of embarrassment. That has got to be it. Guess that falls under that whole little social anxiety disorder complex. Ever feel like you know too much for your own good? Do I feel this way b/c I know it has a "name" so that makes it ok in some way or another, or do I feel this way because I do? Jeez, even I don’t understand what that is supposed to mean. Only that at some point in time it made sense in my head. Oh - I was thinking about the self fulfilling prophecy theory. If you think it will happen, it will. If I know its out there, it will affect me. My first dog, the original Misha, not some lame imposter like myself, was very leash aggressive. One night while walking her shit faced drunk she actually sniffed butts w/ another dog and didn't try to kill it after. It made me wonder - is she leash aggressive because that is simply how she is, or does she sense my apprehension and therefore become overly protective?

Crap. I'm just going to take a Xanex and hope I feel better in about an hour b/c I am tired of feeling like the roof is going to come crashing down and I kinda want it to.

I was in such a positive mood earlier. I went island camping this weekend w/ the 3 dogs and didn't get a sunburn or sink the boat too badly. I was actually cold outside for the first time in who knows how long in South Florida. I then topped off the most awesome long weekend w/ a kick ass Beastie Boys concert. I was so happy, almost giddy. And now this. I feel like am 17. Steps away from independence but still trapped. Trapped by the shortsightedness of youth that prevents the light at the end of the tunnel from shining through. When I went to college a wonderful and unexpected thing happened. Well actually 2. The frizz left my hair! Though I only moved about 20 miles north east my hair got oh so much better. Even better than that - I no longer had constant suicidal thoughts. A few months into college I woke up and realized that I didn't go to bed every night wishing I was dead. It's an incredible revelation when you realize that life isn't hurting anymore. My life is good. I really should enjoy it. Its not perfect, but unless I start thinking too deeply, I can honestly say that I have a good life. I should remember that more often and stop writing this selfish drivel.

The photographer for the WEDDING just called. Just talking to her freaked me out. Now I have to arrange hair and makeup for next Tuesday. Ok - manager came in, saw me freaking out. As soon as I get the slightest hint of sympathy from anyone I can't stop the tears. They just come out. It's like I feel bad that they are wasting their sympathy on me and that makes me feel worse. What kind of idiot feels worse b/c someone feels bad for them? Me - I'm da Idiot.

"Voting for Kerry just might, fuck that - it will change the world."

Friday, October 15, 2004

Oh ye poetic spam

Any given bluish baby fidgeting.

Our stupid tv is angry.

Mine green clock is thinking.

Her daughters white white exam book falls the time that his slopy pensil fidgeting or maybe any given bluish magazine spit and still a small magazine run.
A shining sofa run.
Any bluish carpet is on fire.
Any white green tv calms-down.
A stupid mouse stares and perhaps his small slopy mobile phone sleeps at the place that a given odd shaped round-shaped glasses arrives.
Her little recycle bin is angry.
Their hairy glove smells.
The silver sport shoes arrives.
His shining boat stares.
Our children beautiful slopy computer adheres and a stupid hairy mouse run.
His brothers beautiful smart sony sleeps and mine bluish omprella walks.
His brothers soft white little carpet adheres.

This is one of the best weird things I have gotten to date. I changed its format to make it a bit more readable. Makes sense in an etheral sort of way. Who writes these things? This is too readable to be computer generated. What is the purpose of these thing? To get past spam guards? Maybe I am stupid but I just quite dont understand.

Just had to share this.

"Not voting for Bush will make me very happy."

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I love all things cordless

Well, except for when you lose them. Then they suck. But I love the cordless mouse. What a great invention for fucking w/ fellow co-workers. Everytime my mom pisses me off I simply move her mouse under a stack of papers. She looks for it until she figures out that as I take after my father, chances are good that I am responsible for the disappearing mouse and then she starts screaming at me. And the keyboard too. Cant forget about that one. Every so often I walk in her office and just walk away with it. I don't know why exactly, but this makes me laugh my ass off. Ahh, the love.

ps - cordless is a word, right? b/c stupid blogger spell check doesn't recognize it as one. Idiocy. It doesn't even recognize blog or blogger as a word. Funny.

"Voting for Kerry just might, fuck that - it will change the world."

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

seeking blog advice

can anyone tell me how to change the yellow on the side? It really bugs me. Do the colors have number codes or anything like that? Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

"Voting for Kerry just might, fuck that - it will change the world."

Monday, October 11, 2004

A Poll

If Osama bin laden were captured November first (day before election), how would you react in the voting booth?

I would keep my vote for Bush (33%)
I would keep my vote for Kerry (30%)
Other (18%)
I wouldn't vote (12%)
I would vote for someone else (4%)
I would change my vote to Kerry (1%)
I would change my vote to Bush (1%)
Votes: 1262

A little poll from where I get my backgammon fix. Though I don't like the direction in which this poll is going it is nice to know that the next four years does not depend on a "what if". So amongst a small poll of online voters the evil squirrelly one is winning by 3%. Thankfully this poll is as unreliable as it gets.

"Voting for Kerry just might, fuck that - it will change the world."

Servant Cheney and Necked Bush

You must check THIS out.

"Voting for Kerry just might, fuck that - it will change the world."