Monday, November 20, 2006

all soft and pretty...but brains?

My poor husky Jackson has problems eating. Nothing physical, its more like he is anorexic. I put the plate in front of him and he gives me the sad eyes, like "mommy, do I really have to eat ALL of this?"

Example - I just gave him a little itty bitty smooshy CAT TREAT and he took about 3 minutes to eat just one. And before he could eat it he had to break it up into THREE pieces.

Oh yeah, after seeing The Bodies Exhibition I realize that even though and perhaps because of I was a vegetarian for 1/4 of my life, I would turn to cannibalism if needed without a second thought. Maybe I was hungry, um no had Wendy's before... but it all looked like good beef jerky. Saw some nice rump roast. And yeah, if I had to, I would in a second. But I would never kill anyone or endorse anything like that - only in a worse case scenario Donner party kind of thing. If it comes to your city it is worth seeing. I am really grossed out by other peoples medical things like blood, and worse w/ animals, but these flayed humans in action are incredibly fascinating.

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

the upside of insomnia

*you get to read A LOT
*lots of peace and quiet
*see many more sunrises than I usually do
*I get to hear the satisfying "thud" as the newspaper hits my front door
*I can once in a while get my paper before all the others on my floor so they don't think I am such a lazy....
* And now the best! Just after I had read today's paper, the sun started coming up so I decided to go sleep on the beach. Grabbed big sunglass (on second thought airline sleep shades would have been a much better choice), pillow, beach blanket and a few couch throws b/c I couldn't find a blanket that was not being used.

Only thing I forgot was my bathing suit for when I woke up....

Husband says he tried to wake me up around 7 and I told him something about going to hell or worse. But he still got me an umbrella so I wouldn't get to hot :) 80 here!

A much smarter move was coming down at noon w/ some garliky microwaved quesadillas. Once the garlic hit my nose I was like a jack-in-the-box popping out of bed. Nice breakfast, cold water...Aaaahhhhh...

Then went upstairs to change out of my sweats into a bikini, but I couldn't find the top, but hell, this is Miami Beach and even if I did have it, I wouldn't have worn it. The tops are only for pools and vacations.

If you can, try to get to a nude beach. Don't be self-conscious and enjoy the fresh air pass over your body. Chances are you haven't been out in your birthday suit very often. Give it a try. It rocks!

About 3 I called it a day and went back inside. I have a delicious new tan and a very well rested body. MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE THAN BALCONY CAMPING. Cant wait to do beach "camping" again. Sand is sooo comfortable. I want a sand bed. Wonder how heavy it would be? Just get a futon and fill it w/ sand - seems easy enough.

OOOHHH- also at the beach there was the cutest miniature daschund named Lila and she frequently came by to snuggle w/ me and share my pillow. Such a cute little black and brown dog w/ a sandy nose and pink rhinestone collar. Now the LOL part - her parents had Louis bitten towels upon which I sarcastically told my husband I want Coach towels for our anniversary. Coach is far superior to Louis bitten. (real me - have Coach purse and love it but only because it has lasted forever, wears great with everything, has a classic color, is really combo, and does not SCREAM I AM COACH) Turns out the dog has a Coach carrier for when it flies first class. Dog's mom actually got a letter from her doctor saying that she NEEDS to travel w/ her dog, so the dog flies free!

I must have looked like a homeless person when the beach guy arrived at work. By the time I got to the beach I was really tired so didn't walk as far as I thought from the bldg exit. Was almost in the center. Oops.

One more thing - saw the cutest aqua terry-cloth sundress at Tarchez, but in the children's section. Only 5'1" so I knew I could fit in it (for some reason hate trying on clothes at Target - probably b/c I go there mostly for home things) and I got busted. A girl around 7-9 was wearing the same dress. At least other people in this bldg deign to shop at Tarchez. So sick (aka jealous)of all the D&G, Ann Taylor, Burberry, Anthropologie - whatever is expensive - you name it - bags in everyones hand.

But I got more style in my pinkie toe than they got in their bank account!

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

seems kinda wrong

I was just doing some yoga, thinking about how relaxing the stretches were, when a rather large ant came near my foot. I squished it with a nearby piece of paper...

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Friday, November 03, 2006

drunken post

I am pretty. My parents have money that they are willing to share with me. I have a husband that I really believe loves me. I have 4 pets that I really love. Despite all this, I often feel wrong about that thing went wrong that June 2. I made a choice. I wanted to leave this life but next thing I knew I awoke in a hospital. For abortion I am pro-choice; why is it illegal to be pro-choice for my own life? No one has bothered to explain that to me. Its just the law. End of story. Maybe I didn't want it to end. I answered the phone, which I never do, and I confessed what I had done. Though I don't really remember it, I guess the more fucked up you are the more honest you are, so I guess I changed my mind right before I thought it would be over. I remember falling over everything. Crawling around the floor b/c I could not walk. Crying a lot. Saying bye. But my "suicide letter" was more like a journal entry and stream of thought more than anything - kinda a confession that my husband never should have read.

A cousin of my cousins' just died. He was just 2 months over 30.... If we had kept in touch we would have been good friends. He also sold "things" in high school. I have never seen such a standing room only funeral. I had never been to a funeral of someone who was younger than me. I felt really bad because I was crying more than anyone there. The families did not get along. I never knew he was in the hospital. His father found out he was in the hospital because my almost cousins' GF called his mother in Venezuela, who in turn called her sister in Miami, who in turn called the dying mans' father.

They had not been speaking for a while. My cousin left his wife and child for his secretary and she would not let him be w/ his family unless they excluded his ex-wife from the family. As far as I know, she did nothing wrong and is a sweet, wonderful person. But no one ever knows the whole story. Right before he died, he made up w/ his father. He actually asked the doctors to help him up so he could hug this father like a real man. I am oh so happy that happened. Thank god they got to reconcile - so many don't. At the funeral all I could think of, this could so easily be me and my parents could be in this pain. I never want them to go there. They don't deserve it. No one does, but they are really good people.

Normally I hate the plastic enclosed cards that are presented at funerals (is this a Hispanic tradition, or American also?) but I liked his. It was not a psalm which I think are useless. Here it is - for my cousins' cousin. The first child in our family to die. It so easily could have been me. I have always thought myself the black sheep, but he really was. No he is dead so no bad can be said about him, so I am the black sheep again. Oh, well. Maybe not. My very wonderful and loving cousin married someone who most everyone hates and moved to china - maybe he be black sheep now....

The plastic covered card:

In Loving Memory of

Pedro Hernandez (Jr. cuz he was but it wasn't on the laminated thingy - imagine being a father and seeing your name on your sons funeral "cards" - horrible I think.

July 31, 1976
October 14, 2006

God saw you were getting tired,
and a cure was not to be,
so he put his arms around you
and whispered "Come to me".

With tearful eyes we watched you,
and saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.

As you know, I am not a fan of religion and only put this in memory of someone whose life, however misguided, was cut short.

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