Saturday, March 28, 2009


I love me some good stormy weather, but when i hear howling wind i get a little pit of anxiety in my stomach. Damn all those hurricanes, but tropical storms - they rock. Of course now that i am going to have a garden, that might change.

Friday, March 27, 2009

town house under construction


its almost done! Here are some pics my boyfriend took today. When all is ready i will post more. too bad i don't have any before shots.

This is the beautiful light i have hanging over the spiral staircase. I have another one just outside my bedroom door. I cant tell you how much i love these lights.

tis the living room looking at the kitchen

this is the master bathroom sink area - they installed the sinks incorrectly - they are supposed to rest on top of the granite - boo!

this the master bedroom looking up at the loft

this is the loft/office

this is the front patio. my friend the landscape designer has designed a gorgeous garden for me.

This my kitchen from the living room. I really LOVE my kitchen :]

This is from the kitchen looking into the dining room

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

my parents are rich

which works out well for me. I am pretty dirt poor. Never quite recovered from an unfortunate incident a few years ago. If it wasnt for mom and dad i would most absolutely be homeless. I have thought that for so long but seeing it makes me wonder. I could be using them as a crutch...but i can see my self being evicted and living in a park or somewhere too embarrassed, ashamed, and mostly depressed to call anyone for help. Just accepting that as something else that I could not change. But thats bullshit. I need to change. I can change. I really must. I cant go on like this; living in a sort of limbo where only the days change. I need to jump up and wake up and take the reins back; pick them up off the floor where i dropped them.

But just musing... It feels so different, putting it all out there. I think it all the time but reading it really makes me realized how stupid it is...or not. I am unemployed and I need to get over my damn anxiety and get a stupid job. I used to love working, well at least the money :) Getting a job would do so much for me. I just need to overcome this giant pit of anxiety that evolves in my stomach each time I think of getting a job. AARRRGGGG!!!!! Its so ridiculous, but at the same time it is what it is.

This barely made sense to me. Goodnight

Thursday, March 05, 2009

grace in small things

this has been going around and i am going to give it a try at least once a week (fingers crossed)

1 - when i cant sleep black label works quite well
2 - 30% of people did worse than me on the LSAT
3 - for a shedding monster, my dog is kinda on the small side
4 - I have a purple house!!!!
5 - my parents did not raise me to be a redneck

well most are kinda snarky but that seems to be my bright side.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

um... hi

I have not posted for so long that i forgot my password. Lets just say I am a hell of a lot better. just gotta say that Prozac rocks. not much to write about. bored but happy i got access again! Yay!!