Da Bias

For some reason today I really wanted to wear a sweater. So I did. Ooooh big deal you say. Well its 85 out and for us morons that is actually cool weather. Down here in Miami we are so pathetic that the first time it drops below 90 after the summer hell people start saying “oh – its cool now – the weather has changed – no more heat and humidity” Yeah – until tomorrow rolls around that is. My office is freezing so a sweater here is no problem but I have to venture out into the warehouse several times a day and whatever temperature it happens to be outside, the warehouse is practically guaranteed to be 10 degrees hotter. So I don’t know, despite the having to walk to and from the car in the blazing heat, and having to enter the sweltering box room I still wanted to wear a sweater. The urge was in me. It was like I could feel the weather becoming cooler around other parts of the country (despite the dire predictions of global warming I have been reading in this month’s National Geographic), and wanted to dress like those people. This happened last year. I wore a corduroy baby blue trench coat forever in hopes that if I dress for cold weather it will come. Yeah, it eventually did, but really pathetically. Today I happened to look at the good old calendar and noticed that first day of fall was yesterday!!! This (at least in my mind) completely explains the urge to dress warm, telling the thermometer to fuck off in a way. You see I couldn’t dress warm yesterday b/c I was home w/ a migraine in a quiet dark room all day wishing my head would just fall off and stop hurting me so much.

It’s weird though. I KNOW it is fall, but I keep THINKING that it is spring. This has happened every fall since I moved back to Miami. The weather starts to change and I am always like “oh thank god – spring is coming” when I know damn well that the season is called fall. I didn’t really know that till I moved north though.

I was one of those 99% kids in school. Great at test taking, but perpetually underachieving. So I was always in honors and AP classed getting straight C’s. I remember one SAT type test (probably in the elementary years) that had a question asking us to put the seasons in order. I had no fucking clue -first time ever a test question stumped me. All I could think was spring forward, fall back. Nothing to do with the placement of the seasons.

Point – the SAT is biased against people who live in the Tropics.


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