rare, unusual, and really boring

Now what could be all those things at once? Hmmm.....

Just happened to me.

Just got out of an elevator.

That I had been in for and HOUR.

Great story, but not much to tell.

I got to use the emergency elevator phone! That was definitely a highlight.

Lowlight - had to wait and hour for the Otis guy to come rescue me from between floors; one of them was the 11th - he was pretty hot :) I have this thing for strong muscular redheads who aren't scared to grab my dogs and save me, even if it was just part of his job and he probably got mad overtime for it.

Greatest thing about the long boring ordeal - I had my doggies with me and it happened AFTER their walk - thank god :)

I am odd. Oh yes. I did lots of yoga. Anything I could think of that didn't involve me lying on the floor. That in itself is not odd. It was the stripping down naked to do it just for the camera in the ator. That's what I called it while I was stuck in the box, because it sure as fuck wasn't doing anything close to elevating. Had I had some cigs, I could have smoked them. Had some time. Read everything. Smoking is only forbidden in an OPERATING elevator. But alas, only dogs. The worst part is that I missed Betty la Fea AKA Ugly Betty - but it was a repeat so that wasn't even bad. Another thing I am thankful for is that I was alone and didn't have to deal w/ anyone else's bullshit.

I tried to find just how many people get stuck in boxes, because as I am now a member of an elite club, I want to know just how elite it is. They all could be telling me its rare so I keep my faith in elevators.

This is what I found:


"Incidents involving elevators and escalators kill about 30 and seriously injure about 17,100 people each year in the United States, according to data provided by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Injuries to people working on or near elevators, including those installing, repairing, and maintaining elevators, and working in or near elevator shafts– account for 14- 15 (almost half) of the deaths. The two major causes of death are falls and being caught in/between moving parts of elevators/escalators. Incidents where workers are in or on elevators or platforms that collapse, are struck by elevators or counterweights, or are electrocuted are also numerous."

Oh yeah, I don't know if you caught that, but I kept my clothes on :)

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best and most gentle natural asian exfoliating facial ever!

Alas, this supreme facial is not available to just everyone. I have been especially gifted. But more of that later.

First, I must apologize to fabulous Skippy Mom. She has tagged me TWICE :). My first tags. Lady got me in a special way. Sadly, I suck and have not been inspired to do them... But I really, really promise I will. And I have really been wanting to be tagged, but then it seems I am not entirely comfortable with the "you're it" part. I tend to freeze. On to massive cuteness overload!

here is my cosmotologist:





She is the best. A hottie, a great snuggler, and she likes dogs:





She is very thorough. Her rough teeny tongue gently licked my nose, chin, and forehead - all the trouble areas. Some of you might be like, oh my god, how gross! But it was the cutest, sweetest thing ever. It was an Asian facial b/c she is Siamese if you please. Though I have another "designer" pet, she was dropped off at my parents office because a friend of a relative of an employee found her and said employee brought her to work. My mom told to go pick her up! Now she wants her :( She has a bigger house, wide balcony rails where kitty can wander, and kitty can go outside. Mom lives in cul-de-sac in quiet small hood; I live in a condo. So I guess she has her reasons. But I love kitty so much. So Cute. So sweet.

Oh yeah - she was named Ling-Ling, but I just call her kitty. Might go back to ling-ling in a while..




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feeling better..

I was smelling the wonderfulness of my cashmere PJ's and I thought I would share a nice tip. Take your favorite essential oil, or a cheaper fragrance oil and put many drops on your dryer sheet. Rub the sheet around the dryer after it has run for about 10-15 min and you will have delicious smelling things. I also use it on my sheets. So nice - aromatherapy in bed.

Ending on a happy nice note :)


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what is it about mothers?

How can they get under your skin in just the perfect most painful way without even trying? After a 20 min call w/ my mom I have been crying for 1/2 hr. I just keep thinking that I should not be alive. My plans were thwarted, interrupted. I didn't want to be around to keep feeling like shit.

So I tried something new - cutting. Pretty sure most cutters don't start at 32, which leads me to believe that I am somewhat developmentally retarded. Didn't look for a razor. Just used a dirty chef knife. I couldn't cut myself. But I wanted to see my blood soooo badly - totally new feeling for me - I just started chopping. Still no blood. Just a swollen arm and neck. Why, why am I so damn stupid? I knew it was wrong, but I still did it. I know it carries a horrible stigma, but I still tried. I am vain - don't like scars - but still tried.

Boo-hoo me.



Sorry for the shit.


now YOUR turn - comment..... i understand that this is really difficult to leave a comment to w/o sounding trite, so dont feel guilty for keeping your silence. If you dont know, I am seeing a psychiatrist; in fact day after next. I dont feel I am recovering. Such the downward spiral.

FORWARD 10 MIN

I feel like such a childish idiot with a ton of welts on my arm that i might have to painfully explain. I cant believe it tried that. I have never understood "cutters" but damn I wanted to bleed and feel a different kind of pain - the kind that wont make me jump 25 floors, not that i ever think I could do it. Pills are more my things. Too bad I know which ones work now.... Its a power I should not have. I believe in the right to choose, whether you want to carry a child, or just choose not to continue living. Not many people agree w/ me on the latter. But its MY life. Why cant I do what I want to it? Guess I dont think victimless crimes should exist. Dont worry. Will be around for a while. Feels good to let it all out, even though I am scared that the few people who read will think me a gigantic freak. But they probably wont.

all soft and pretty...but brains?

My poor husky Jackson has problems eating. Nothing physical, its more like he is anorexic. I put the plate in front of him and he gives me the sad eyes, like "mommy, do I really have to eat ALL of this?"

Example - I just gave him a little itty bitty smooshy CAT TREAT and he took about 3 minutes to eat just one. And before he could eat it he had to break it up into THREE pieces.




Oh yeah, after seeing The Bodies Exhibition I realize that even though and perhaps because of I was a vegetarian for 1/4 of my life, I would turn to cannibalism if needed without a second thought. Maybe I was hungry, um no had Wendy's before... but it all looked like good beef jerky. Saw some nice rump roast. And yeah, if I had to, I would in a second. But I would never kill anyone or endorse anything like that - only in a worse case scenario Donner party kind of thing. If it comes to your city it is worth seeing. I am really grossed out by other peoples medical things like blood, and worse w/ animals, but these flayed humans in action are incredibly fascinating.

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the upside of insomnia

*you get to read A LOT
*lots of peace and quiet
*see many more sunrises than I usually do
*I get to hear the satisfying "thud" as the newspaper hits my front door
*I can once in a while get my paper before all the others on my floor so they don't think I am such a lazy....
* And now the best! Just after I had read today's paper, the sun started coming up so I decided to go sleep on the beach. Grabbed big sunglass (on second thought airline sleep shades would have been a much better choice), pillow, beach blanket and a few couch throws b/c I couldn't find a blanket that was not being used.

Only thing I forgot was my bathing suit for when I woke up....

Husband says he tried to wake me up around 7 and I told him something about going to hell or worse. But he still got me an umbrella so I wouldn't get to hot :) 80 here!

A much smarter move was coming down at noon w/ some garliky microwaved quesadillas. Once the garlic hit my nose I was like a jack-in-the-box popping out of bed. Nice breakfast, cold water...Aaaahhhhh...

Then went upstairs to change out of my sweats into a bikini, but I couldn't find the top, but hell, this is Miami Beach and even if I did have it, I wouldn't have worn it. The tops are only for pools and vacations.

PREACHING FAMILY VALUES:
If you can, try to get to a nude beach. Don't be self-conscious and enjoy the fresh air pass over your body. Chances are you haven't been out in your birthday suit very often. Give it a try. It rocks!

About 3 I called it a day and went back inside. I have a delicious new tan and a very well rested body. MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE THAN BALCONY CAMPING. Cant wait to do beach "camping" again. Sand is sooo comfortable. I want a sand bed. Wonder how heavy it would be? Just get a futon and fill it w/ sand - seems easy enough.

OOOHHH- also at the beach there was the cutest miniature daschund named Lila and she frequently came by to snuggle w/ me and share my pillow. Such a cute little black and brown dog w/ a sandy nose and pink rhinestone collar. Now the LOL part - her parents had Louis bitten towels upon which I sarcastically told my husband I want Coach towels for our anniversary. Coach is far superior to Louis bitten. (real me - have Coach purse and love it but only because it has lasted forever, wears great with everything, has a classic color, is really combo, and does not SCREAM I AM COACH) Turns out the dog has a Coach carrier for when it flies first class. Dog's mom actually got a letter from her doctor saying that she NEEDS to travel w/ her dog, so the dog flies free!

I must have looked like a homeless person when the beach guy arrived at work. By the time I got to the beach I was really tired so didn't walk as far as I thought from the bldg exit. Was almost in the center. Oops.

One more thing - saw the cutest aqua terry-cloth sundress at Tarchez, but in the children's section. Only 5'1" so I knew I could fit in it (for some reason hate trying on clothes at Target - probably b/c I go there mostly for home things) and I got busted. A girl around 7-9 was wearing the same dress. At least other people in this bldg deign to shop at Tarchez. So sick (aka jealous)of all the D&G, Ann Taylor, Burberry, Anthropologie - whatever is expensive - you name it - bags in everyones hand.

But I got more style in my pinkie toe than they got in their bank account!




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seems kinda wrong

I was just doing some yoga, thinking about how relaxing the stretches were, when a rather large ant came near my foot. I squished it with a nearby piece of paper...




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