breaking up

its hard. I am not used to be being broken up w/. And i really hate breaking up w/ people. I always feel it should be mutual. Like they should understand why it cant work between us. The last 2 that broke up w/ me were so cold. Just said it and that was it. No more communication. Ever. So harsh. Wish i got over it sooner. Cuz i guess i am pretty much over it now i guess. just wondering how people can change their minds so quickly or why they dont talk about things till its too late. The 2 that broke up w/ me were long distance so thats why it surprised me how much it hurt. I dont know... I have learned that breakups dont need to be mutual. You dont have to have painful conversation about it. You can just send a 2 sentence email starting w/ i am sorry and ending its for the best. And that was the nicer break up. I got maybe 2 more of those in response to my 50+ emails. The other one was over the phone. Left a message saying call me tonight or i will hunt you down and kill you. You know, cuz i am really the murderous type. He freaked, got mean on the phone and I said bye. The End.?? I just dont think its normal/nice to treat people that way. But maybe it is better just to make a clean cut. But i would always try to talk to people and be as nice as possible when breaking up. Its odd that i am writing about it now because I dont really think my heart hurts anymore. Sadly kinda still want to be friends w/ one. Ok, embarassing. He was Shaun, my international internet boyfriend who lived in Australia. We planned on traveling to India together. I had considered new zealand and a possible move if we got along during our six weeks together. Then i got the 2 sentence sorry a week before i was to meet him in india. Right after I had started getting really excited to meet him. Before I had some doubts. From his pictures he didnt look my type. But what he wrote, and what he said, and how sweet he seemed and what we discussed all was totally my type. Oh and no matter what he was sexy as hell. I just wish more people were like me. Give things a try. Help the other person out with it. It might draw it out and make it more painful but i think its best for a healthy resolution on both sides. I go by, do unto others and you would have them do unto you. If only it would work the other way around. I also started a very personal blog and am writing there a lot and dont really remember where i posted what so thats why stuff might not make sense. as if it ever does LOL.... got distracted but am in a pretty good mood. bye!

and november starts with a bang!

With my car door to me cheekbone. I instantly wanted to write about it, but thankfully had enough foresight to first make an icepack for the left side of my face. Based on the changes in only the last 15 min, this is going to be the best bruise on my face ever! Just in time for vacation and to see all my friends. At least they love me for whats on the inside : )

and hour and a half later... its amazing what ice does (1) my face is dumb so it doesnt hurt anymore - when it first happened i thought from the sound and dizziness that i broke/fractured my cheekbone, eventually i realized that i would probably need a bit more than a small puncture w/ almost no blood for that to happen (2) the swelling has gone down so much and i put the ice pack on about 10 min after the "incident".

Sadly, the bruising has just gotten worse...think i will take a few extra iron supplements. Since i have started writing and removed the ice pack my face has started hurting again - boo! When making an ice pack a zip lock bag is a much better idea than an open sandwich bag, but thats all I have. A paper towel wrapping also works better than a towel wrapper. Leave lots of air in the bag so it is easier to contour. A hairband will work on sandwich baggies if you dont have a ziplock but it will still leak a bit...

Cant wait to see the leaves and do some hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains!!!! If only it didnt involve telling my mom to fuck off.

i am a trekkie

how do i know this? Because I stay up till 6am to watch it. Sad I know. But the original Star Trek is a really good show.

giving in to depression

I hit an all new phase today. I actually managed to sleep till 8pm. I totally forgot it was halloween which used to be my fav holiday, but i guess depression changes things. Actually looking back, as I went to sleep at 8 am i guess i didnt sleep too much. I am not going to india. The chance i took, traveling w/ someone i never met, but we spoke and emailed so much bah!, just totally fell apart. dont have the courage to go to india by myself so am doing another USA road trip. Would be nice to visit my friends all over the country and see yellowstone as i missed it the first time. Resee the badlands, white sands, mt. st. helens, austin. Visit Boston, NYC, Richmond, drive the blue ridge during fall!!!!!!!!! Think I might take my dog along for company. That way I am not alone - he is a great companion - never talks back :) Checking to see if i can find a nice flight + hotel package for amsterdam -thinking about a week. Here is to making the best out of things when people totally fuck you over. Will never have a pure internet friend again. Even the most honest and sweetest appearing can be total assholes. I portray myself as a player, but as much as it hurts to admit, I am a true romantic, looking for my soulmate. Thought I might have found him LOL.

Ok, I also dreamnt I was back in classes and had to write a 5 page paper and I wrote it by hand. About 2 hrs before it was due I realized it needed to be typed... any feelings on what this might mean?

like a blizzard in miami

When i lived in RVA i got to experience one really good snowstorm, perhaps maybe even a blizzard. What struck me about it most was how bright it was. With all the white EVERYWHERE, and the streetlights, I felt like i could read a book outside at 4am. I just went for a walk w/ Jackson, my lovely husky, and there were these thick low clouds that were so bright. No moon, but my walk has never been so bright. It just kept feeling like a blizzard in Miami Beach

A Fair(y) Use Tale

a nice tale about copywrite law as told by disney...in a way.

Quote & Gross thing that wandered into office

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer. -Saadi, poet (c. 1200 AD)

Tis why religion blows.
-Mish 2004

Big Ugly Bug

Pretty much says it all. Busy day (as usual) and no time (as usual).

Ok - I have to write more now that I am here. Damn it, I forgot what I felt like writing about. Maybe it will come to me.....

Oh yes - Online Games have replaced my compulsion to read blogs. Now I play chess and backgammon in my not so spare time in hopes of improving the connections in my brain. Reading ALL the time can do a girl no good. Nor can playing online games!

Cheers!


"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."