Wednesday, October 31, 2007

giving in to depression

I hit an all new phase today. I actually managed to sleep till 8pm. I totally forgot it was halloween which used to be my fav holiday, but i guess depression changes things. Actually looking back, as I went to sleep at 8 am i guess i didnt sleep too much. I am not going to india. The chance i took, traveling w/ someone i never met, but we spoke and emailed so much bah!, just totally fell apart. dont have the courage to go to india by myself so am doing another USA road trip. Would be nice to visit my friends all over the country and see yellowstone as i missed it the first time. Resee the badlands, white sands, mt. st. helens, austin. Visit Boston, NYC, Richmond, drive the blue ridge during fall!!!!!!!!! Think I might take my dog along for company. That way I am not alone - he is a great companion - never talks back :) Checking to see if i can find a nice flight + hotel package for amsterdam -thinking about a week. Here is to making the best out of things when people totally fuck you over. Will never have a pure internet friend again. Even the most honest and sweetest appearing can be total assholes. I portray myself as a player, but as much as it hurts to admit, I am a true romantic, looking for my soulmate. Thought I might have found him LOL.

Ok, I also dreamnt I was back in classes and had to write a 5 page paper and I wrote it by hand. About 2 hrs before it was due I realized it needed to be typed... any feelings on what this might mean?