Tuesday, June 29, 2004


I feel like I am going crazy. I hope writing about this will put and end to this bullshit. My grandfather is dying. He is 92 and has had the best old age of anyone I have met as of yet. But I still cant stop crying every time I think of him lying in a bed dying. My poor Dad has called him everyday for the past 30 years or so since he moved to Miami. He left on his 60th birthday to go to New York to visit his father on his death/hospice bed. God - I'm fucking bawling here. This is bullshit. I have to get some composure for the funeral. I didn't even know him that well. Saw him about once every other year at best. In the past 2 years I have seen him 3 times though. I guess I am crying b/c I feel guilty for being such a shitty granddaughter. That must be it - just started crying harder. This whole writing thing just isn't working for me today.

"Saving one animal won't change the world, but it will change the world for that one animal."