from my first real boyfriend

he said this always reminded him of me

XXVII

Naked, you are simple as a hand,

minimal, supple, earthy, transparent, round.

The lunar markings, the pathways through the apple,

are yours; naked, you are slender as wheat.



The cuban blue of midnight is your color,

naked, I trace the stars and tendrils in your skin;

naked, you stand tawny and tremendous,

a summer's wholeness in cathedral gold.



Naked,you are tiny as your fingernail;

subtle and curved within the daybreak's pink

you thrust yourself into the subterranean world



a tunnel's length through our duress and clothing:

your clarity trims its flame, unfurls, or covers over,

and again you issue, naked as your hand.



P.Neruda

....swoon....

I was in 7th grade, maybe 9th? And totally thought i was fat, but in retrospect i wasnt.

Also the the other night I had dinner w/ someone from the building. We were in the elevator together and he asked me if i wanted to grab some pizza, I was starving so i said sure. He introduces me to everyone as "the prettiest girl in the building". After dinner we watched a movie at him place. It was pretty slow paced so I had a lot of time to talk. He is a doctor. I asked him a question he couldnt answer and was quite impressed. I love the moment of discovery when someone realizes I am smart. When I was 20, and I guess a lot cuter someone actually said, wow, you dont look smart. He said most girls in miami are so cardboard and i must agree w/ him there. The thing is I dont play the game. I look good, but i dont wear make-up, I wear heels like once a month and i live in flip flops or boots depending on the weather. Well, so now I am not only the prettiest girl in the building, I am also the smartest one. Right On!

upon entering

Every time I walk inside my apartment I swear I hear a little beep. And that is the only time I ever hear it. I would be lying if I said it did not freak me out a bit.

Oh yeah, the other day when I was talking about it feeling like freezing tropical storm force winds, I was right. The temp dropped to 32 (although probably not when i was outside) and 2 tiny palm trees in the dunes got kinda broken in half which is pretty odd behavior when I think about it. Usually palm trees lose their tops or just fall over. But I have never seen any that were only 5' high and they didn't have "solid" trunks, more like trunks made up of many shoots. Perhaps that is why they broke. They were also planted by the "Condo Association" and had no business living in the dunes where it is clearly posted that foot traffic will result in a fine up to $500. Maybe it's just me, but I can't see how they were able to landscape the dunes w/o stepping on then. I have wanted to turn them in but i figure i will just have to pay the fine in the long run. Also, my friend who is a palm tree god, says these are among the stupidest to plant next to the ocean.

Another thing...(and i said i was going to quit this thing - just made me think more) damn. Totally forgot what that other thing was.... Yeah - The Shadows

I was sitting in the chair next to the window facing the ocean right before sundown and the shadow of my building almost made it to the horizon. It was amazing. A little sad, but very neat. Especially when a boat very far away passed though it. At first I say this tiny golden spot and as it went through the shadow it turned grey/white and then back to having the sunset reflect off it. I remember going out in our little tiny boat. Sunset is such a beautiful time to be out on the water. Everything is constantly changing colors depending on your perspective. I miss it. And dammit, I miss being part of an "us" or "we". And i hate talking to mom. I used to have no problem being single. Oh yeah, I lived 1,000 miles away and had some sanity left at the time.

of course i have more to babble about, but i will wait till next time. i hope i remember :]