no one can tear you down and make you feel suicidal like your mother. Or maybe just mine. Is it me, or does it seem like driving the mnts till i hit snow and then visiting friends around the east for 6 weeks such a horrible idea? True, I have been in a deep depression for years...and some sort or another kind of depression since I was 13. So I am kinda used to it. But it has never been this bad. I just think this trip will be wonderful for me. But my mom is flipping out over how irresponsible it is. I have been unemployed (except for a few brief stints) sine june 3, 2004, the day i really tried to kill myself. Why is another 6 weeks of being irresponsible such a horrible thing. Yeah, its selfish, but i kinda think its my life. they have done a lot for me, but buying me a house was just to bribe me to return to miami. She actually told me that because of all she has done for me, its not my life. So I told her to sell the townhouse. I want to own as little as possible. As Janis Joplin said, being free means having nothing to lose. I love the idea of just having me and my dog, on the road. Then the thing w/ the tour and bus in the summer/fall. I will move after that, so she can sell the townhouse before I leave. God, I hate to ask, but I always expected the value of the townhouse would be mine... maybe i could ask for the difference in depreciation? I know she does not want me to live in poverty... I am giving her ALL my real jewelry, whether she gave it to me or not, under the partial guise that i dont want to be in a position to sell it. We dont that in MY family. And I am enough of a disappointment. Jewelry thing is part of owning nothing. Who needs jewelry when you want to be a nomad? I love the townhouse, but i hate the city - any city. I have decided i want/need to live in a cool small hippie mountain town. I cant imagine it would be that bad. Its so cheap, any job could pay the bills...except those credit card ones. God I want to get better, and the blue ridge always makes me feel sooooooo good!!!! Why cant she understand that...she hates nature, so i guess she never will.
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hello the space in between my walls that runs through kinda, maybe, like something that looks like phone cables...that seems to exist everywhere...yet where? You are the one i like to talk to best. Or maybe the only one that does not make me talk...so thats why i can talk to you (um..this thanks to scotch)
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